I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
Randomize
