The maid of honor just puked.
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
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