Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
You are a genius and a whore.
Randomize
