he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
