Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
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