So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
I just forgot I was standing up.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
