I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
I forget how to act sober
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
Randomize
