If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
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