A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
