hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
