oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
Randomize
