you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Randomize
