we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
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