Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
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