You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
Let's get the cat blown out
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
Randomize
