I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
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