I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
Randomize
