Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Randomize
