i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
the liver wants what the liver wants
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
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