idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
Randomize