so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
