So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
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