he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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