its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Randomize
