I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
