I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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