So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Randomize