Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
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