Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
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