I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize
