She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize