She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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