I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
Randomize
