I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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