dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
Randomize
