I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
