Well apparently he's into motor boating.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Randomize
