If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
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