SEEEEXXX PLEASE
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
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