Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
