No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
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