Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
i used baking grease as lip gloss
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Randomize
