Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Randomize
