Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
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