Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
i dont even know how to be here
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
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