I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
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