dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
Randomize
