oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
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