I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Randomize
