What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
They have beer where we have blood.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
Randomize
