she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
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