I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
wakey wakey hands off snakey
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
Randomize
