Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
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