Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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