i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
Randomize
