can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
Drake has all the answers
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Randomize
