Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
Randomize
