We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
Randomize
