dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Randomize
