He is an equal opportunity slut.
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
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