Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
Randomize
