you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
Randomize
