Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Randomize
